Friday, March 25, 2011

'Strawberry' Second Lay Report

I am exhausted. I need to work out. Seriously. Cardio and weights. I used to work out all the time but stopped for some reason. I blame XBOX.

An hour and a half of fucking last night and I feel like shit today. My quads and hip muscles are burnt. My triceps are burnt. My shoulders are burnt.

My head feels good though. Ain't that a thing. How can you simultaneously feel good and feel like shit at the same time?

(Raz just called me a pussy 'cuz he can fuck a chick for 4 hours.)

Lay Report:
I met 'Strawberry' at her house at 6pm last night. She opened the door wearing an outfit very similar to the picture I sent her. Where was her ASD from last time? Maybe it only happens at 'first-time-sex'. Who cares. I had a nympho that needed banging. But first I had to pee.

We started at the couch. A couple positions. I picked her up and stood with her stradling me. She liked that the best. No wonder my quads are burnt. Then we went to the bed. After a while I finally came. Then we went back to the couch for a cigarette. She put on my shirt and sprawled out on the couch with me sitting next to her. A few minutes break then we fucked again. Completely rearanged the furniture and carpets this time. Pretty much every position. It was better and longer the second time. Somehow we ended up on the bed again. After the second time I knew it would take me an hour to recoup so we lay together for a while and talked while I caressed her body. She felt good. I started rubbing her again and fingered her until she came.

There's nothing more sexy than a woman writhing in ecstasy.

She always had her eyes closed. I made fun of her for it. I mimicked her voice, closed my eyes, and said, "He's Bradley Cooper. He's Bradley Cooper." I guess her having her eyes closed could be a good thing. It means she's enjoying herself. It's a huge turn on for me to lock eyes when having sex, though. And I told her a couple times to look at me when she was really getting into it.

I know I said this before, but she sucked a mean dick. I fucking love it when a chick sucks my dick during sex and I go back and forth between her pussy and her mouth. There really isn't anything better in this world. I'm fucking telling you. Thank god for the orgasm, ending the sex act, otherwise I would die of starvation while this chick fucked and sucked me.

So anyway, there's nothing to be learned from this post. I'm just bragging.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

'Strawberry' Text Game for Meetup Tonight

Some of this is boring, but notice how much I text vs her.
Also my frame.

HER: So when do I get to see you again?
ME: Sunday

HER: If you grew your hair out and slicked it back you'd look more like Bradley Cooper.
ME: What if Hilary Duff and Bradley Cooper are secret lovers...
(she looks like Hilary Duff)

HER: Maybe they are. Sundays really aren't that good for me though. I cancelled babysitting this past Monday but I can't be doing that every Monday. Isn't there any other day?
ME: Any other day is tough. If we can control ourselves, just kick me out at a decent time and get some sleep.

HER: I can't do this Sunday anyway, sorry.
HER: Hmmm. I'm curious. And be honest with me. Are you just looking to hook up or what?
ME: Too soon to know

HER: Haha alright sketchball. Well like I said Sundays aren't the best so if we could maybe work in a Friday or Saturday here and there that'd be great. I have to go home this weekend. So no Sunday.
ME: Tomorrow night

HER: I'm going home tomorrow. And won't be back till Sunday night. It'll have to be next week. Next Thursday's good unless you wanna do earlier.

HER: I want you sooner though. I can definitely do the just sex thing. And I can do it well. I just wanted to know ;)
ME: Tonight

HER: Can't. I'm sorry. Gotta give me a little more notice than that. Ok maybe Sunday.

HER: I thought you said any other night was kinda tough you little liar. Tryna call all the shots?
(next day)
ME: Don't worry 'bout this Sunday. I got some late work days next week. What time is your first class on Tues?

--- already made plans to hang with Pool Girl on Sunday night.
--- See Pool Girl Fiasco

HER: 12:30 so Monday would work.
ME: And tuesday?

HER: Oh I thought you wanted to come Monday night. Tues I have class 12:30-5:30 and then babysit Wed morning. When would you come?
ME: Tuesday morning. Before your class. Do you have to babysit?

HER: No. What time?
ME: I can get there by 9:30

HER: Hm. I guess that works yeah.
ME: You go out for St. Pats?

HER: I couldn't. A friend from home passed away so 'Tan' and I drove home yesterday.
HER: What'd you do?
ME: I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing ok. I'll call you later.
(This was genuine. I called later, no answer. Left message.)

HER: Thanks. Sorry I missed your call. Things were kind of crazy this weekend. I don't think I'm gonna be able to do Tuesday. Maybe Wed or Thurs night?
ME: If Tues morning doesn't work, have to wait 'til Sunday. Is Tues definitely out?

HER: Yeah I'm pretty sure. I'm leaving for spring break Friday so sunday's no good.
ME: I'll see what I can do for wed/thurs. I'll let you know tomorrow.

HER: K. Not a big deal if not.
(Yeah it is a big deal, cuz I don't want to wait two weeks to fuck her)

(At Pool Girl's house right after she said she was a 'virgin'.)
ME: I'm still at band practice. Can you hang tonight or should I go back up?

HER: I can't
ME: No big. Have a good night. Txt u tomorrow.

ME: Wed or thurs night?
HER: Yeah. Either one works.

HER: I'm taking a picture of your naked body when you come over. So I can look at it whenever I want. Just thought you should know.
HER: I'm also going to lick your body when you come over. Mmm.
ME: Wednesday. What's the earliest we can meet; when do you get home from class? ...and how sexy will you be dressed?

HER: I'm done with class at 5:30. Come at like 6:30. How do you want me dressed?
(have to admit, I wasn't expecting that. I consulted Raz and he said to send her a pic of what I want)

ME: Like this
(sent her the picture at the top of this post)
HER: Haha. Ohh now I see your type. I'll see what I can do. I happen to have a corset.

HER: So you're gonna have to go a little easier on me than you'd probably like today. I pulled a muscle in my neck and it kills. I'm not sure I should even be having sex haha.
(called her. left message. said if she's not feeling well can do thurs)

HER: I'm in class.
ME: Figured.
ME: If you're not feeling good, I can do tomorrow instead.

HER: You're sweet. I'll let you know a little later. I'm gonna try to get a chiropractor appt. I want you to come today though.

HER: I made an appt. For 4:30 so I'll text you a little later.

HER: Ugh this sucks. Maybe you should just come tomorrow so I'm all better for you ;)
ME: If you can talk now, call me

She called. We talked a bit and cancelled for that night. She said having sex wasn't a good idea because she's not feeling good. I said, "Who said I wanted to have sex. I was planning on cuddling with you all night." She didn't get the joke at first (she did later) and she said, "I didn't think that's what this was." I said, "I don't know what this is. I'm just winging it." She basically just wants sex. That's fine, but I have to admit that it is a blow to my ego. Being very sexual puts you in a different place in women's lives, I guess. I'm not part of her agenda, so she's not emotionally attached. I'll still plan on reaping the benefits, though.

(wednesday night)
HER: Yeah it's good you didn't come today. It feels worse now that it's been adjusted. I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow.

HER: Ok I'm not going this long without having sex with you again. I want you nooow.

HER: You're the worst texter. I can't even get a fun response out of you.
(thursday morning)
ME: Haha thanks. I wasn't even awake. I'm gonna spank you so hard for that.
(I'm not that good at sexual texting yet. Right now I don't know what I can get away with and what will blow me out. That's why I didn't respond to her. Best response when you're not sure is *no response*.)

HER: I apologize :) I was high.
(4pm thursday)
ME: Still good for 6?
HER: Yup
I'm meeting her in 1 hour.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Pool Girl Fiasco

Second meetup with Pool Girl. Conclusion from Partying in DE 3

Text Game Lead Up:
ME: I had fun. Next time we should finish our drinks ;) I'll talk to you soon, cutie.
(4 days later)
HER: i had fun, when's next time
ME: Wow. You just got the record for delayed responding.
(1 minute later)
HER: you never told me your talent, remember that? lol
(4 hours later)
ME: That's better ;)
HER: Look who's tryna win the delayed response award now
ME: I am soooo gonna spank you for that when I see you.
(keep text convo sexual so she knows I don't just want to be friends)
HER: You're a mess lol

HER: Yes i'm tryna win at delayed responses
ME: Hey cutie, you have a good weekend?
HER: it was alright, you?
ME: Earth shattering weekend.
HER: Do you always text extra late? Like I know you're gettin old but geez, memory loss at an early age

(she called at 12am, left no message)
ME: Woke me up 'n no message? :(
HER: Aww I'm sorry! I'm too cool to leave messages.. y r u asleep
ME: Call me
HER: I'm at work, call ya tonight?

HER: I'm at work then meeting til late like 10:30 ish
ME: I'll be asleep.
(she called and left message right after my text. She was very nervous)
HER: I hate leaving messages btw...
ME: Your message was so cute ;)
HER: U shoulda came over 2niiiiite! I duno when my roomie comin back =/
ME: U shoulda inviiiiited me
HER: Lol touche. Are you at work?
ME: Sorta. Construction on my bros place on weekends.
HER: Ok what time-ish r u callin me tomorrow
(2 days later)
ME: Hey cutie, how's your sunday goin?
HER: Studyin, got a crazy 2 weeks ahead of me =/ is this your one day off lol
ME: Hey cutie, you gonnna be around on sunday? I owe you a spanking ;)
HER: always time =) what time tho, i got a dinner 2 go 2
ME: after 9
HER: Can't wait!
ME: You gonna have ice this time?
HER: Yes! Lol
ME: Is your roomate gonna get jealous if we're having too much fun? ;)
HER: Door locks, well jus keep it down haha
ME: Hey cutie, how sexy will you be dressed on Sunday?
HER: Itll all b a surprise =)
(I kept the sexual vibe going to let her know that I intended on having sex with her when I saw her. Her response was not so good because she didn't know how to respond.)

ME: Mmmmm

ME: 9:15 good?
HER: Yeah that's cool

Fiasco Report:
Met her at her dorm. She made margaritas again. Much better this time. We talk for a bit and then start making out. Her shirt and bra were off in record time. Everything is going smoothly. Then she gets up and gets chocolate syrup. WTF? We haven't even had normal sex and she's going for syrup. Call me a neat freak, but I wasn't too keen on getting that shit on my clothes. So she pours some on her tits and I licked it off while rubbing her through her pants.

Then she stops me and says, "I have a confession..." Oh. Fuck. Is it STD, is she a post-op? What could it be?

"I'm a virgin." Oh thank god. That just means sex is going to be difficult, not dangerous.

She told me she wanted me to know because some guys don't want to have sex with virgins. I said, "I only have a problem with it if you have a problem with it."

But after that it was done. I'm thinking that she probably wanted to talk it out a bit. I didn't want to. She said her stomach was bothering her and then she said it was her time of the month. Whatever. Now I'm thinking it was all lies. Who knows. Either way, this was her second and last chance.

After Action Review:
Did I make any mistakes? Not sure. If anyone sees any, please let me know. I'm thinking the 'Virgin' thing was a test I failed. Don't know. Maybe she really was a virgin and it was a hangup she couldn't get past. I'm not waiting for her.

I'm learning to laugh at a lot of the stuff women do. It doesn't make me mad or pissed or upset in any way. It is what it is, but it does annoy me sometimes.

What really annoyed me with Pool Girl is that we were making out for a while and she NEVER went for my dick. If she had given me a hand job or blow job, I might have seen her again. I might have even put up with her not having sex.

Let this be a lesson to any women reading this. If you want to keep a man, especially one who has options, touch his dick.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Short Text Game and FR and LR - 'Strawberry'

From Partying in DE - Text game for HBStrawberry

Text Game Lead Up:

ME: I want to see you. Can you do your work early and come out with me at 9? I'm stuck until then.
HER: Yeah I can do that, I just have to work in the morning so it can't be super late
ME: No prob. I'll have you back by morning ;)
HER: Haha waay before then

HER: Hey, I'm sorry but I had to go home to jersey for a last minute family thing. We're gonna have to hang out another time. And don't think I'm cancelling because I don't want to see you. I do.
ME: Cool, then it's mutual ;) I'm available this sunday again. You?
HER: I believe so. After 9? I can let you know later in the week but I don't think it's a problem.
ME: Yeah, after 9 again.
HER: Hey are you in philly tonight?
ME: Yeah, meeting some friends in Old City. What are you up to?
HER: Great! I'm in Philly wanna meet up?
ME: I like that plan. Where are you gonna be?
HER: I don't know the city too well so idk what you mean by old city but I'm on the UPEN campus right now about to go to happy hour somewhere.
ME: You're in University City. 30 blocks away. What brings you up here? (want to know logistics for sex the same night)
HER: Oh :( can we still meet? My roomie and I just decided to come hang out here for the night. We're driving back later.
ME: Maybe. I gotta see what my friends are doing. I haven't seen them in a month. Think you could find market and 3rd?
(can't be too easy, I got other things in my life, and gauging her interest level by finding out if she'll drive to meet me)
HER: Boy I can find anything. I got an iphone lol. Yeah I'm near market and 34th now. Is that where you're gonna be?

HER: And what time are you going?
ME: Near there. About 10.
HER: Oh well we're not staying too late, we weren't planning on really going out tonight, just happy hour and hanging out for a bit. Would you be able to meet us up here before you go out?
ME: Maybe 9ish. What bar?
HER: Well right now we're at *bar* but might go somewhere else. I mean I know you have plans so I understand, I just thought it'd be fun if we could meet up.

(hour later)
HER: We're leaving soon. What do you want to do?
ME: Can't get there 'til 9. How's sunday look for you?
(Says I'm not worried about not seeing her that night.)
HER: Haha. You and 9, why are you always busy till 9? I think I can do Sunday. What do you want to do?
(called and made plans with her to meet up in University City)
HER: Dxxxx on xx and Chestnut. Getchyo ass there.
Drove and parked, walked in and got a drink.

Field Report:
I sat down with them, leaned back, and splayed out like it was a couch. Strawberry's friend is cute and tan with black hair. I already started thinking about how I'd like to bang her, too. 'Tan' immediately started grilling me. Asking what I do, who I am. This ain't my first rodeo. I passed her tests with flying colors and she ended up giving me crazy IOI's.

I forget what I said to the shit tests. It's getting so I don't think about any of this stuff anymore. I'm winging it now, but only because (I realize this only as I type this) I've internalized the frame. And frankly, I don't care. If they don't like me, then I'll find someone that does. And that, my friends, is the best attitude to pass any shit test. It's all about abundance. It's quite obvious in my texts, as well, that I'm not putting any extra importance on the interactions.

The shit tests weren't anything spectacular, actually. Just enough to screen for a douche. And guess what... I'm not.

It took barely a whisper of a suggestion to join me in Old City and they were following me like I was Justin Bieber's Twitter account. She was worried that the garage her car was in closed at Midnight. I told her that was stupid and not to worry about it.

We went to a drug store around the corner (I needed Red Bull and cigarettes). I don't care if I smoke and she doesn't. I will smoke around her anyway. Unapologetically.

With a frown she said, "Oh, you smoke."

I said, "Yeah" in a tone that said, "So what?" and "Of course" at the same time.

We took my car to Old City. 'Tan' assumed she could smoke in my car.
Fuck No. There's nothing worse than cigarette burns in leather seats.

I played Flo Rida. They insisted on playing 'Bottom's Up' and rapping to Nicki Minaj which I interpreted as them qualifying themselves to me. Additionally, they kept asking me what kind of music my band plays. Just for fun, I dodged the question over and over.

In Old City I got a sweet parking spot that cost $51 dollars, but at least I didn't have to walk far. We got to the P&S Bar and got a table upstairs. 'Chill' came in later and joined us. Tonight is the March Philly Lair Meet 'n Greet. There were 10 more guys from the group downstairs.

I was the only one who brought sand to the beach. And yet, 'Chill' and I were the only ones talking to girls, but it was still early and there weren't many girls there yet anyway.

I was acting chill and Strawberry was eating it up. I held her hand and did quick makeouts with her while 'Chill' was gaming 'Tan'. I told 'Tan' that she had a nice ass. The girls asked if I was a boob man or an ass man. I said, "Depends on what's in my face at the time." This is just more of the 'I don't care' attitude coming through. I just said whatever I wanted. I got a look from 'Chill' that I thought meant, "I can't believe you said that." I don't know his tells yet so it could have meant, "You have a bat in the cave."

'Chill' was using the 60yrs method with 'Tan'. I knew because of the way he was touching her hands. This method is not for the weak willed, folks. It's the gaming equivalent of 'Going Hard or Going Home'. It will either get you laid or get you labeled... 'creepy'. If not 'creepy' then the woman will make something else up. In this case before the girls left for the night, I found out that 'Tan' decided that 'Chill' was wasted. He wasn't. It was a rationalization.

'Chill' and I got smokes outside and I introduced Strawberry to a couple Group Guys. Most were cool, but one guy (there's always one) thought it would be a great idea to game her. He held her hand and kissed her cheek. I wasn't worried. His technique was off and he seemed embarrassed afterward as he ducked away.

After hanging for an hour, 'Tan' convinced 'Strawberry' to leave and the girls flagged a taxi. I kissed Strawberry goodbye and broke the kiss first. She said, "One more?" I said, "Just one." And I kissed her quick then smacked her ass as she got in the taxi. I hugged 'Tan' goodbye and they were off.

I hung out with the Philly Lair guys the rest of the night and met some cool people. I may post about it later.

After Action Review:
Logistics for an SNL were off. I wanted them to be. I met up with Strawberry and Tan to seed for a Sunday night meetup and I wanted to sarge with the Group Guys that night. I invited 'Chill' because I think he's a cool dude, I wanted to throw him a bone, and I wanted someone to take care of the obstacle ('Tan'). As I said, logistics were off, she lives an hour from 'Chill', and I just found out that 'Chill' doesn't have a car. So basically I wasted his time. Sorry, dude, but thank you for winging me.

Texting Epilogue for Friday and Lead up to Sunday LR:
(Same night, Friday - after we hung out)
HER: So.. What kind of music do you play?
ME: Haha. Sunday.
HER: Fine. But the garage did close at midnight!
(next morning - Saturday)
HER: How's *your project* in this beautiful weather going?
ME: Ok. Sorta. It's complicated.
(thank you, Roissy)
HER: Oh haha I'm sorry. I thought you liked it.
(Saturday Night)
HER: 12:24am - Hi I'm wasted. I want you.
HER: 1:30am - I'm really Fu cked. Up. I cAnt wait go hook up you.
(next day, Sunday)
HER: 1:09pm - Oh good. Glad I kept it classy and attractive last night. Sorry about those texts.
ME: Ur so cute ;)
(I ignored her sexual texts. They could have been tests or sent by her friends. I'm not looking for a sexting relationship. I want real sex. The 'cute' line is to say that her wanting me is not a big deal to me, implying that I'm used to it.)
HER: Haha I don't see how that's in any way cute but I'm glad you think so. Call me later about tonight.
(called and left message about hanging out)

ME: You around tonight?
HER: Yeah Sorry I missed your call, I just got out of the shower. What's up?
ME: I'll be done around 9 again. Meet you at your place?
HER: Yeah that works. Do you have a gps or do you want me to find directions?
ME: no gps
(I know this part is boring, the only reason I put it here is to show how little I text back)
HER: *gave directions*

HER: I don't have any liquor. Do you want me to run and get some real fast?
ME: Yeah, I'll be 10 min
HER: Ah. It'll take me longer than that. Do you want me to wait and we can go together?
ME: wait
(once again, less is more. the less you text, the better)

Lay Report:
Drove to her place, picked her up outside, and drove to the liquor store. Bottle of Mango Absolute and a pack of Marlboro Lights.

I hadn't touched her, not even a hug or hand holding. I wanted to wait until it was 'on' because I knew she'd be anticipating it more.

Back at her place we smoked a bowl. She didn't have mixers for the drinks and needed to borrow club soda from her neighbor. She told her neighbor that I look like Bradley Cooper and she wanted to show off her to meet me. She was cute. I was high.

We left with the club soda and crossed the very small hall to her apartment and she made us drinks. I took a sip and as she tried to walk by I grabbed her and pulled her toward me. My 'no touch' tactic worked. She was all over me. I was all over her. My hands found their way into her pants from behind and she stopped me, "Not so fast."

I brought her to the couch and we made out. She was wearing skin tight, spandex like, black pants (I don't know what the fuck they're called) and I could feel her getting wet through them.

I went for her panties again and she stopped me, "We're not going to have sex, you know."
I said, "Look, we're both adults, we'll do whatever we're comfortable with."
She squinted and smiled, a look that said, "Mmmmm, I like that response."

She kept up a pretense of ASD: "I can't believe you're taking advantage of me like this. I'm not a slut."

We hung out a bit more and I was persistent. A few minutes later we were both naked on her couch. I said, "Where's your bed?" and we went to her room. She got a text message while we were having sex. It was her neighbor, "I knew you would." Apparently the walls are thin.

Afterward we lay on the couch. I put my boxers and jeans on, she was naked but with a button-up shirt. I kept carressing her and she was writhing. I told her to touch herself. She said, "Oh, do you like that?" and she began moaning and rubbing herself. After a minute or two of watching her, I helped her out with the 'corkscrew'. She told me she came 4 times that night. I said, "Take my pants off." She did and gave me an amazing blowjob. I told her she's really good at it. "Yeah, I pride myself on them," she said.

We chilled out and I fell asleep. I woke up an hour later a bit more sober and I left her place at 1:20am
HER: (2:06am, Sunday, same night) Idk if I can wait another week for that.
(next day, Monday)
HER: Text me when you can so I know you're alive and made it back ok
ME: You look damn sexy in just a button up shirt.
HER: Stop it. I'm already horny just thinking about you.
HER: AND I'm in class.

After Action Review:
I have to say, this took a lot of gaming to come to fruition. The girl is 11 years younger than me. She's a bit heavier than my ideal, but god damn is she sexy. I had the feeling the entire time that I was one misstep away from leaving her place unsatisfied. Don't get me wrong. At no point did I feel like I would fuck up. It felt like I could see all the previous iterations of myself failing at different points and the new 'Me' was above it all, able to foresee all her games and countering them in ways that could only lead to her wanting me.

My game has been taken to a new level.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Philly Lair - Feb '11 MG&S

My experience meeting the Philly Lair.

I rolled into DH Pub and looked around. It's busy here. Downstairs were a ton of people eating. I walked upstairs and saw more tables of diners. I wasn't sure if I was in the right place. I found a back bar upstairs and walked up to a couple guys. I said, "Is this..." They gave me a knowing look and said, "yeah."

I talked to them for a minute and looked around again. Everyone there 'looked' cool, but some of the guys were kinda 'off'. I asked who the main organizer was. They pointed him out and I went up and introduced myself. He was a really cool guy and I was a little shocked to see that he had his girlfriend there. He told me that she knows all about the group. I guess, since I'm so secretive about what I do, that I hadn't thought it could be any other way.

I shot the shit with him for a minute and then asked him who the best, most proficient guys were. He gave me a couple names and I went to talk to them.

One of the guys he pointed out was very friendly and had a cool style and vibe. Then I met a friend of his who was very excited and had the 'kid in a candy store' energy. Not so skilled, but he's got a lot of enthusiasm. It's either going to really help him or really hinder him.

After only a few minutes of assessing the social skills of the guys in the group, it became apparent to me that there was a large gap in experience and awareness. What I mean by this is that there are guys that are good and 'get it', and then there are guys that aren't good and don't even know they don't 'get it'. It's the concious/competence stages. I'm sure I'm somewhere in the middle, but everyone thinks they're better than they really are, including me.

I talked to another co-organizer who had a 'leader of men' aire about him. Just based on these short interactions, I can say with certainty that the organizers are of the few that 'get it'. As I was hanging with them, I saw a guy who 'owned the bar' with body language and was holding court with about 4 guys. The co-organizers said he was really good and they learned a lot from him. This was 'Garv'.

During one of the conversations in the Pub, I found myself talking fast and tripping on my words. I was nervous and kinda 'geeking out' a bit. I don't do that. It was a bit embarrassing because I'm usually much more composed, so I went out front for a smoke.

A few minutes later everyone (about 15 guys) came outside to go to the club. I went to Wawa for a Red Bull with a good-looking, well-dressed guy. He was a newb and asked me some questions that showed a serious lack of experience so I decided I wasn't going to wing with him. He was cool, and I have no problem winging with someone who needs some help, but that's not why I came out tonight.

I came out tonight to meet some pros. Or at least someone to show me the real potential of game. I've had a feeling for a while that there was something missing, some hidden ingredient that has eluded me. And dare I say it, I felt there was something wrong, or broken, with game as I understood it. I've been at the edge of an epiphany for a year now and I wanted... needed... a final push.

I walked with 'Well-Dressed' to the club, a half block behind the group, and found he was a really likeable person.

When we got there 'Well-Dressed' went in with everyone else. I'm not a herd animal. I'd rather walk in late and make a real entrance than be just another body. There was a guy from the group smoking on the sidewalk and I walked up and talked to him. He was a really chill guy. He just had a great laid-back vibe.

I introduced myself to 'Chill' and we talked about the group. Aside from his body language and demeanor, I knew he was good because he asked me, "What are your goals with all this?" He was feeling me out, wanted to know if I 'got it'. I was honest with him. I'm usually not. Maybe it was his vibe. Maybe I just needed a confidant.

Now, I thought 'Chill' was a chill guy, but then 'Garv' came out for a smoke and leaned against a railing next to us. He knew 'Chill' and was listening to our convo. I said to 'Garv'. "You've got the best body language of anyone I've ever seen. I noticed it at the Pub. No matter where you are you find something to lean against."

They laughed knowingly. Then 'Garv' schooled me on game. This guy is a pro. I'm not exaggerating. In 10 minutes of talking to him my mind was open to concepts that I hadn't even thought of. This is why I came out tonight. He critiqued my appearance and gave me some pointers. The few techniques he taught me I used the same night with phenomenal success (before I fucked up). Besides the tips, just being in his presence gave me a model to emulate. His 'cool' was deep to his core and really showed me how far I could take it. I don't mean to be praising anyone so much, but just trust me on this, he knew his shit and wasn't too cool to help someone.

We finished our cigarette's and headed inside. I wandered and introduced myself to a couple of the guys. Then I realized why I thought they were 'off'. They were scared. They gave me a look that said, "Why are you talking to me?" There were a couple small groups of guys huddled together for protection here and there. I kept going. Looking around I noticed it was a dick farm. A few girls here and there, but nothing I wanted to open. I checked out upstairs. Same thing. The 'kid in a candy store' guy was in set with three girls. He needed help, but I didn't know him or the dynamic, so I didn't go in. I should have. Turns out he needed the help and the girls were cute.

Overall I didn't see much that I wanted to open or could open. Back downstairs I ran into a guy from the group and mentioned that I wasn't really feeling the place because there weren't many sets. He said, with an attitude, "What are you talking about? There's a set there, one there, one there." I gave him a, "What the fuck are YOU on?" look and rolled off.

I ran into 'Chill' a couple feet away talking to three guys. They were looking at him like he had all the answers. I introduced myself to the group and got more of the same "why are you talking to me" looks. Then I asked 'Chill' if he wanted to go find some girls. He said, "Yeah" like I was offering him free weed. I guess the 'kids' were wearing him out. We went upstairs and scanned the area.

Not much. Then I saw a 2set and walked up. "You guys seem cool, are you friendly?"
The one said, "No." And with bad body language. I plowed anyway. It was the first set of the night so I wanted to milk it a bit. The other girl was shy but liked the attention. Her friend ruined it for her by being standoff-ish. I looked at 'Chill' and signaled him to come over. The mean girl kept giving shit, so we threw 'em back in the water.

We hung out a minute and I saw a group of really cute girls coming up the stairs. I moved toward them, but it became really crowded and so many people were moving in different directions that it wasn't conducive for starting conversations.

A little upset about the environment, I vented to 'Chill' and told him what the guy said earlier ("there's a set here, a set there"). I speculated that it was approach anxiety that was getting me down. 'Chill' verbalized what I was thinking earlier. There really weren't many viable sets. One of the sets the guy earlier pointed out was a family party of some sort. 'Chill' said it would have shown a great lack of social calibration to open them. He also said if they really were available sets, then why wasn't he opening them? Then he asked me if I thought any of the girl were good looking. I thought for a moment, and then said, "No." He said, "Then why open them?"

I think 'Chill' was hanging with me because I wasn't a knucklehead and showed some initiative/courage with opening. There were plenty of people he could have winged with but he stuck with me.

We went outside for a smoke. I saw a girl by herself at a table and opened by asking for a light. She said, "Sure." I lit my cigarette and her girl friend came over and started some drama. The girl I opened started crying and I walked away.

'Chill' and I sat and talked. I said, "You want to go to a party tonight?"

He said, "You don't have to ask me twice."

To be continued in "Party in University City"

After Action Review:
The Philly Lair was everything I thought it would be. It was a great experience meeting the organizers and members.

If you want to take your game to another level, overcome some obsacles, meet some new wings, and make new friends, definitely come to the meetups.

If you want some one on one time with a local pro, 'Garv' actually does workshops. I learned a ton after only 10 minutes and his workshops are hours, so I can only imagine how far it could take you. Several of the organizers took his workshop and recommend him. His price is extremely fair, so if you want to get on the fast track, give him a shout. I do not know him personally and do not benefit from endorsing him. It is only for your benefit that I mention him.

Good luck, and I'll see you at the next meetup... which is tonight.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Game and the Effects of Porn

Porn is a ubiquitous and pervasive phenomenon. The internet's explosion of accessibility means that anyone can get new sex videos at any time of the day for free. Does that mean that it SHOULD be accessed?

Let's examine the effects of porn and you can decide for yourself.

Effect 1: Porn desensitizes you to real women.

Desire for real women is reduced. Even in the presence of a naked woman, you will be numbed to the degree that you wank it. It cannot NOT affect you. I read an article somewhere a while ago (sorry, no source) that cited a study that proved men perceived their wives as less beautiful after watching porn.

What this means for the guy who's getting a regular dosage of porn is that, not only is he not going to be as motivated to bang a real girl, his performance will be lacking as well.

Effect 2: Porn saps Motivation and Desire.

Desire and Motivation are similar.
Desire is a 'Want'.
Motivation is a 'reason for action'.
As I define it for this excercise, they are exclusive:
Desire is what you feel when you are IN THE PRESENCE OF BEAUTY.
Motivation is what makes you want to be IN THE PRESENCE OF BEAUTY.

Motivation is what gets you there.
Desire is what you feel when you are there.

So, in order to keep your desire and motivation for sex high, limit your porn intake. If you just rubbed one out, yet are somehow still Motivated to meet women, is your Desire going to be as palpable? Are you going to be able to show your desire? I think not. If you are consuming Porn on a daily basis, is your desire for 'women in your league' going to be appropriately high? I think not.

Effect 3: Porn causes erectile dysfunction.

When you are having sex with a 'woman in your league', will you satisfy her? Or will the fact that you jerk off regularly to 10's (who do some freaky shit) prevent you from being turned on enough to keep an erection when with a normal girl?

Erectile dysfuntion is on the rise in youth. I speculate that if we saw a graph of youth ED superimposed on a graph of porn proliferation, we'd all have an 'Aha!' moment.

ED causes performance anxiety. If you can't please a woman and it's just an awkward affair, it will create in you a pavlovian avoidance to sexual relations. Our limbic system and reward centers compel us toward pleasure and away from pain. When imbalance occurs, porn is a pleasure and sex is a pain.

The way our brain works with pornography is like pouring water into a bottomless bucket. Each click brings you to novel images or video that triggers the reward centers of our brains. Dopamine is released. At the same time, dopamine sensitivity is numbed so you need a stronger stimulus to cause the same pleasure response. This leads to needing more novel material. All of a sudden it takes more than just a cute girl pleasuring herself to get you off.

On a practical level, porn changes our needs and makes it take much more than what is available to us in our reality to arouse us adequately.

Simply put, the more you use porn, the less you will feel desire for 'normal'.

That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing if you know what's going on and have made an informed choice. What I think is bad is when this happens and we don't know it. If you know what you're sacrificing, would you still do it?

Effect 4: Porn diminishes your ability to satisfy a woman.

What do most men want out of a relationship?

A loving partner.
A caring partner.
A sexual partner.
An understanding partner.
Sex on demand.
Dinner / meals made for us.
To be treated like a king.

Well the only way you're going to get that is to fuck the shit out of your woman. If you're not fucking her good enough because you can't get a rock hard dick because her naked body isn't as hot as the one you just saw on your computer, then she's not going to see you as a man. She's going to see you as an inferior boy (you're not still wearing comic book T-shirts outside the house are you?). Good luck getting a woman that feels superior to you to treat you well.

Effect 5: Porn causes conflict in relationships.

It's amazing how doting a woman is after you just rocked her world. The corrollation is that if you're unable to give her an orgasm, or the sex is unsatisfactory, a contempt toward you will build in her and she will not respect you.

Effect 6: Porn contributes to White Knighting:

Some guys have this habit of pedestalizing women. If you know a guy like that, ask him how much he masturbates and if he's honest, he'll tell you somewhere about once a day, if not more. This is not an intrinsically bad thing. When it IS 'bad' is when a guy allows porn to infect his rational processes.

There are two things guys want from women: Sex and Affection.
These two things have to be in balance for psychological health and relationship health.

The guy who pedestalizes women is inflating the value of her affection and acts like he doesn't want sex from her. Maybe he doesn't. He gets all the sex (junk sex) he wants from a video screen. He'll scold you on respecting women and to not treat them like a sexual object (Madonna/Whore paradox). He may want sex on some level, but his fantasy is of the woman doing all the work. The woman taking the reins and leading him. He lacks the balls, motivation, and desire, to initiate himself.

If you know about common female fantasies, you'll know this isn't one of them.

To the degree that you use porn, it will:

1. Desensitize you to 'normal' women.
2. Sap your Motivation and Desire.
3. Cause erectile dysfunction.
4. Diminish your ability to satisfy a woman.
5. Cause conflict in your relationships.
6. Imbalance your need for Affection and Sex from real women.

Porn isn't just a viscious cycle of dopamine binging and crashing.
It is a psychological and physiological downward spiral.

Porn is NOT for anyone interested in practicing game.

If you want a happier/healthier sex life, then don't just stop watching porn. Stop masturbating altogether. This will create a drive in you to fuck real women. Make real sex your only sexual outlet.

Your Brain on Porn
Your Brain on Porn: Doing what you evolved to do
Your Brain on Porn: Food Addiction Research
Was The Cowardly Lion Just Masturbating Too Much?
Unexpected Lessons from Porn Users
Sexual Superabundance
Seriously, does masturbation affect game?
Effects of Male Masturbation on Attracting Women
Porn + Masturbation = Bad Game

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Me a Narcissist?! (a rationalization)

I read a recent blog post at The Rawness, Double Meanings, and it struck a chord with me, inspiring me to investigate narcissism.

I found a narcissim quiz that Dr. Drew has online, promoting a book.

Out of 40 points I scored a 38.
Authority: High
Self-sufficiency: High
Superiority: High
Exhibitionism: High
Exploitativeness: High
Vanity: High
Entitlement: High
Right on the website it says,

There's no such thing as a good or bad result on this test. Scoring high on the narcissism inventory, or high on any of the component categories, doesn't mean you have a disorder, or that you're a good or bad person.
I then took another online narcissism quiz that had me at 36 out of 50.
"If your score is 35 or more you may be narcissistic."

So, I guess it's official. I'm a narcissist.

Is that a bad thing? Not neccessarily.
Somebody else said it for me (forget where I took this from):
A lot of people are 'relieved' if they scored low and worry they should call their therapist if they scored high. But when did being assertive, controlling, capable, unstoppable, successful, beloved, believable, enduring, popular, and aggressive become dirty or some sort of personality disorder?
Introverts don't become presidents, ceo's, captains, owners, or generals, unless they were born rich. We've become a nation of losers who are 'relieved' they didn't score too high.
You can always pay someone to write your biography to make you sound humble.
I find nothing wrong with expecting better things for myself. I find nothing wrong with being selfish. I do find it a bit regretful (no real regret, just a figure of speech) that some relationships (bros and hos) have been strained because they think I'm an asshole. And yet I've always been an optimist and have always been very happy. My self esteem is sound.

I see a lot of people promoting modesty as a virtue, but to me that reeks of weakness. I abhor weakness unless it is a calculated front.

"The meek shall inherit the Earth." Bullshit. That line was written by people in power to keep the sheeple in their pens. They don't want anyone rising up and challenging them.

Nobody's ever gotten laid being timid.

To be timid is to be dependent. To be meek is to be tamed. I cannot respect anyone that is not assertive and can't stand up for themselves. They may as well put on a collar and hand the leash to their women, bosses, bullys, 'friends'.

Women don't respect the weak. Self-deprecating humor is the worst thing that could ever be used socially, not to mention seductively. If you're going to err, err on the side of being COCKY. I'm not saying being cocky is the end all be all. But you need to be cocky to break out of timidness. After giong to the opposite extreme, and knowing what the limits are, you can then find a good median.

I think narcissism has a bad name because there are few people with balls to stand up for what they want. The people that don't have this self-assurance are envious of the people that do and try to 'take them down a peg'.

There are few people who have the guts to say to someone else, "Fuck you, I'm more important to me than you are." But that's the way it should be. You are more important to yourself than you are to anyone else. Be selfish. Think of yourself first next time. You will be surprised at how good it makes you feel. A little guilty, too? Pangs maybe. But your self-esteem will grow as you treat yourself with respect and choose your happiness over someone else's.

Choose yourself. Feel better. Get laid.