Thursday, March 3, 2011

Me a Narcissist?! (a rationalization)

I read a recent blog post at The Rawness, Double Meanings, and it struck a chord with me, inspiring me to investigate narcissism.

I found a narcissim quiz that Dr. Drew has online, promoting a book.

Out of 40 points I scored a 38.
Authority: High
Self-sufficiency: High
Superiority: High
Exhibitionism: High
Exploitativeness: High
Vanity: High
Entitlement: High
Right on the website it says,

There's no such thing as a good or bad result on this test. Scoring high on the narcissism inventory, or high on any of the component categories, doesn't mean you have a disorder, or that you're a good or bad person.
I then took another online narcissism quiz that had me at 36 out of 50.
"If your score is 35 or more you may be narcissistic."

So, I guess it's official. I'm a narcissist.

Is that a bad thing? Not neccessarily.
Somebody else said it for me (forget where I took this from):
A lot of people are 'relieved' if they scored low and worry they should call their therapist if they scored high. But when did being assertive, controlling, capable, unstoppable, successful, beloved, believable, enduring, popular, and aggressive become dirty or some sort of personality disorder?
Introverts don't become presidents, ceo's, captains, owners, or generals, unless they were born rich. We've become a nation of losers who are 'relieved' they didn't score too high.
You can always pay someone to write your biography to make you sound humble.
I find nothing wrong with expecting better things for myself. I find nothing wrong with being selfish. I do find it a bit regretful (no real regret, just a figure of speech) that some relationships (bros and hos) have been strained because they think I'm an asshole. And yet I've always been an optimist and have always been very happy. My self esteem is sound.

I see a lot of people promoting modesty as a virtue, but to me that reeks of weakness. I abhor weakness unless it is a calculated front.

"The meek shall inherit the Earth." Bullshit. That line was written by people in power to keep the sheeple in their pens. They don't want anyone rising up and challenging them.

Nobody's ever gotten laid being timid.

To be timid is to be dependent. To be meek is to be tamed. I cannot respect anyone that is not assertive and can't stand up for themselves. They may as well put on a collar and hand the leash to their women, bosses, bullys, 'friends'.

Women don't respect the weak. Self-deprecating humor is the worst thing that could ever be used socially, not to mention seductively. If you're going to err, err on the side of being COCKY. I'm not saying being cocky is the end all be all. But you need to be cocky to break out of timidness. After giong to the opposite extreme, and knowing what the limits are, you can then find a good median.

I think narcissism has a bad name because there are few people with balls to stand up for what they want. The people that don't have this self-assurance are envious of the people that do and try to 'take them down a peg'.

There are few people who have the guts to say to someone else, "Fuck you, I'm more important to me than you are." But that's the way it should be. You are more important to yourself than you are to anyone else. Be selfish. Think of yourself first next time. You will be surprised at how good it makes you feel. A little guilty, too? Pangs maybe. But your self-esteem will grow as you treat yourself with respect and choose your happiness over someone else's.

Choose yourself. Feel better. Get laid.


  1. "I cannot agree with those who rank modesty among the virtues. To the logician all things should be seen exactly as they are, and to underestimate one's self is as much a departure from truth as to exaggerate one's own powers." - one of my favorite Sherlock Holmes quotes.
    The issue with narcissistic personality disorder is that it involves a false perception of the self, so being justifiably confident/arrogant doesn't not make one a narcissist (or as I explain it to people, I'm not a narcissist, I'm merely objective...).
    Besides that, everybody is selfish (they just don't realize it), it's just the stuff they value that differs (for example, if keeping a certain person as a friend would make them ultimately happier than getting their way in a particular situation, they'll choose that).

  2. Thanks for your comment. You make a great point about being selfish.
    "I'm not a narcissist, I'm merely objective." I'm using that.