Sunday, March 6, 2011

Game and the Effects of Porn

Porn is a ubiquitous and pervasive phenomenon. The internet's explosion of accessibility means that anyone can get new sex videos at any time of the day for free. Does that mean that it SHOULD be accessed?

Let's examine the effects of porn and you can decide for yourself.

Effect 1: Porn desensitizes you to real women.

Desire for real women is reduced. Even in the presence of a naked woman, you will be numbed to the degree that you wank it. It cannot NOT affect you. I read an article somewhere a while ago (sorry, no source) that cited a study that proved men perceived their wives as less beautiful after watching porn.

What this means for the guy who's getting a regular dosage of porn is that, not only is he not going to be as motivated to bang a real girl, his performance will be lacking as well.

Effect 2: Porn saps Motivation and Desire.

Desire and Motivation are similar.
Desire is a 'Want'.
Motivation is a 'reason for action'.
As I define it for this excercise, they are exclusive:
Desire is what you feel when you are IN THE PRESENCE OF BEAUTY.
Motivation is what makes you want to be IN THE PRESENCE OF BEAUTY.

Motivation is what gets you there.
Desire is what you feel when you are there.

So, in order to keep your desire and motivation for sex high, limit your porn intake. If you just rubbed one out, yet are somehow still Motivated to meet women, is your Desire going to be as palpable? Are you going to be able to show your desire? I think not. If you are consuming Porn on a daily basis, is your desire for 'women in your league' going to be appropriately high? I think not.

Effect 3: Porn causes erectile dysfunction.

When you are having sex with a 'woman in your league', will you satisfy her? Or will the fact that you jerk off regularly to 10's (who do some freaky shit) prevent you from being turned on enough to keep an erection when with a normal girl?

Erectile dysfuntion is on the rise in youth. I speculate that if we saw a graph of youth ED superimposed on a graph of porn proliferation, we'd all have an 'Aha!' moment.

ED causes performance anxiety. If you can't please a woman and it's just an awkward affair, it will create in you a pavlovian avoidance to sexual relations. Our limbic system and reward centers compel us toward pleasure and away from pain. When imbalance occurs, porn is a pleasure and sex is a pain.

The way our brain works with pornography is like pouring water into a bottomless bucket. Each click brings you to novel images or video that triggers the reward centers of our brains. Dopamine is released. At the same time, dopamine sensitivity is numbed so you need a stronger stimulus to cause the same pleasure response. This leads to needing more novel material. All of a sudden it takes more than just a cute girl pleasuring herself to get you off.

On a practical level, porn changes our needs and makes it take much more than what is available to us in our reality to arouse us adequately.

Simply put, the more you use porn, the less you will feel desire for 'normal'.

That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing if you know what's going on and have made an informed choice. What I think is bad is when this happens and we don't know it. If you know what you're sacrificing, would you still do it?

Effect 4: Porn diminishes your ability to satisfy a woman.

What do most men want out of a relationship?

A loving partner.
A caring partner.
A sexual partner.
An understanding partner.
Sex on demand.
Dinner / meals made for us.
To be treated like a king.

Well the only way you're going to get that is to fuck the shit out of your woman. If you're not fucking her good enough because you can't get a rock hard dick because her naked body isn't as hot as the one you just saw on your computer, then she's not going to see you as a man. She's going to see you as an inferior boy (you're not still wearing comic book T-shirts outside the house are you?). Good luck getting a woman that feels superior to you to treat you well.

Effect 5: Porn causes conflict in relationships.

It's amazing how doting a woman is after you just rocked her world. The corrollation is that if you're unable to give her an orgasm, or the sex is unsatisfactory, a contempt toward you will build in her and she will not respect you.

Effect 6: Porn contributes to White Knighting:

Some guys have this habit of pedestalizing women. If you know a guy like that, ask him how much he masturbates and if he's honest, he'll tell you somewhere about once a day, if not more. This is not an intrinsically bad thing. When it IS 'bad' is when a guy allows porn to infect his rational processes.

There are two things guys want from women: Sex and Affection.
These two things have to be in balance for psychological health and relationship health.

The guy who pedestalizes women is inflating the value of her affection and acts like he doesn't want sex from her. Maybe he doesn't. He gets all the sex (junk sex) he wants from a video screen. He'll scold you on respecting women and to not treat them like a sexual object (Madonna/Whore paradox). He may want sex on some level, but his fantasy is of the woman doing all the work. The woman taking the reins and leading him. He lacks the balls, motivation, and desire, to initiate himself.

If you know about common female fantasies, you'll know this isn't one of them.

Summary:
To the degree that you use porn, it will:

1. Desensitize you to 'normal' women.
2. Sap your Motivation and Desire.
3. Cause erectile dysfunction.
4. Diminish your ability to satisfy a woman.
5. Cause conflict in your relationships.
6. Imbalance your need for Affection and Sex from real women.

Conclusion:
Porn isn't just a viscious cycle of dopamine binging and crashing.
It is a psychological and physiological downward spiral.

Porn is NOT for anyone interested in practicing game.

If you want a happier/healthier sex life, then don't just stop watching porn. Stop masturbating altogether. This will create a drive in you to fuck real women. Make real sex your only sexual outlet.

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Sources:
Your Brain on Porn
Your Brain on Porn: Doing what you evolved to do
Your Brain on Porn: Food Addiction Research
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/6594
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/345
Was The Cowardly Lion Just Masturbating Too Much?
Unexpected Lessons from Porn Users
Sexual Superabundance
Seriously, does masturbation affect game?
Effects of Male Masturbation on Attracting Women
Porn + Masturbation = Bad Game

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