Thursday, May 20, 2010

Stripper Texts

I met a stripper at a bachelor party. All body language game and paying for the bachelor and never myself. She says, "Don't YOU want a private dance?"
I say, "I can get laid anytime I want, I'm not gonna pay for it... which sucks for you 'cuz I'm the only one here with money."

She's way into me (I know. They're paid to act like that.) Way into me AFTER they have counted their money for the night. I'm smoking pot with them. And NO, I didn't just hand over the weed for their company... I said, "Twenty dollars." The other stripper she's with gives me some cash and says to her friend, "give him some money"
I love the irony in the fact that they were giving me my own money back :)

More strong body language, pulled her close and said, "Do you want to see me again?"
She says, "definitely" and grabs her phone and calls my number when I gave it to her.
I bit her neck, she giggled and we said our goodbyes.
I sent her a text an hour later:

Enjoyed meeting you tonight, looking forward to getting to know you... and biting your neck again ;) ... Sweet dreams.
-Pulsotic

<< I think I fucked up on this text! Was OK EXCEPT the biting neck thing.
<< With strippers it's important to convey that the sex is not important to you.
<< In my opinion it conveyed low status. I waited a couple days and then tried to
<< do damage control and sent a much higher status text:

I'm going to the city on Saturday to see what's 'new' at the vintage stores. You should tag along and we can get some tea. I'd like to find out if you're more than just a pretty face.
-Pulsotic

<< Credit David DeAngelo. This one has DHV's and is a challenge. Pure GOLD.
<< Guess what? She responded... two separate texts.

Stripper:
...Oh that's really cool. Yeah that would be fun. I work Saturday night but
...during the day I'm free so yeah hopefully we could hang out

...I've only been to one vintage shop before but that was in Paris, so what kind
...of stuff do they have in the ones around here?

Me:
Nothing like the Paris flea markets... 70's, 60's clothes, mod blazers, western shirts, antiques... I'm looking for clothes/jewelry... something eccentric/rock 'n roll I can use on stage... I usually know it when I see it. I'm jealous... I've always wanted to go to Paris... even learned some French... When'd you go there?

<< I fucked up again! There is so much WRONG with this text that NO amount of
<< damage control will cure. I took her DHV bait of Paris. It's as if her
<< second text was really a TEST. And I failed it.
<< I put in a DHV, but overall this text is AFC because I should NOT have answered
<< her question. I should have been coy and said:
<< "That would ruin the surprise... all the fun is in the treasure hunt ;) "
<< So of course she didn't answer and I could count on her flaking so I sent her:

Hey Tara, I got roped into helping a friend with her photoshoot tomorrow... I'll be in the city but I won't be available. Sorry... maybe next weekend
xoxo

<< Added the DHV of 'photoshoot' and hopefully my flaking wasn't transparent.
<< After the weekend I cast out a line:

Hey cutie, I'll be in the city this weekend. What's your schedule?

<< No bite... this one's blown out, but I know some things I did wrong
<< and will learn from it. And hey, this is my first real stripper game.

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