Monday, June 21, 2010

Approach Anxiety is gone!

I read a great bit about approach anxiety. Thanks to Bhodisatta who posted a link to the article on Love Systems site. Here is the LINK.

Fri night Razael and I went to sarge a new place.
We get there and aren't talking to anyone... I just read the article and reminded him that the longer we are only talking to ourselves the harder it will be to open and be in set. So we committed to open the first set we saw.

We go inside. I go to the bathroom and Razael goes to buy a beer. When I come back to the bar, he's still waiting for his drink and not talking to anyone. There's a 2set right next to him! I roll up right next to him and the 2set and open them with, "You guys seem cool. Are you friendly?" (This is my default opener now.)

BOOM! We're in. First thing they say is they're paying their tab to leave. 2 hours later they're still there and talking to us. While we're chatting them up, Razael goes to get a beer and subsequently opens another set. I had opened another set behind me while in set with the first ones.

The social proof from the first set carried cumulatively to the next, and our state improved as well.

We became the guys in the bar that everyone wanted to talk to. I caught women checking us out from across the bar. We were friendly with everyone and mingling. It's like the first set was the first few drops of a thunderstorm.

We left the bar and I opened another set on the street and they invited us to join them inside another bar.

This has been a huge revelation and a turning point in my game.
It's something that seems self-explanatory and pretty obvious, especially to someone who's been doing this awhile, but now that I saw it first hand in the field, it puts a new perspective on it.

How do you kill approach anxiety? OPEN!

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