Wednesday, May 8, 2013

NEW Text Game

I've been slackin' in the posting dept. Now, inspired by Aspies linking to old posts, my passion for pick-up prose has been piqued. First post in over a year! This one has to be good.

Friday Night.
I was hanging out with my bro and his friend who is a tall attractive guy. The tall guy has one-itis and is just bringing the vibe down. My bro is inexperienced. Those two were chatting up some heffers they're friends with. I just teased 'em all and tried to get the tall guy to talk to some cute girls with me. I pointed out a tall redhead and a short black-haired girl at the bar ten feet away.
Tall guy says, "what the JAP"
Me:"what do you mean JAP"
Him:"jewish american princess"
I didn't realize how low his vibe was until this point. To judge a cute girl like that, one you haven't even talked to, as inferior based on a glance is clearly sour grapes.
Then a good looking (thin) girl joined our group. I decided I'd stay a little longer. I start chatting up the thin girl. She says, "they warned me about you." One of the fat girls turns around and says, "yeah I told her you were a douche." Thanks, you made it a lot easier on me. Seriously, now I know she would have been a time waster.
I calmly took my drink and walked away, didn't say anything. I walked by a couple guys I met earlier and said, "cheers." Then noticed the redhead was by herself so I approached. (I would have approached if the black-haired girl were there, too, but I might have hesitated a bit, no hesitation when they're by themselves for some reason)
Me: "you look like you're having more fun than anyone here"
BOOM it opens and we talk for a while until her friend comes back. Her friend came back and they both start qualifying to me, the redhead getting obviously annoyed when the black-haired girl got my attention. When they were laughing the loudest I happened to glance toward the heffers and caught their caustic eye. I have to say it felt good. A few minutes later I bounced the three of us to another bar two blocks away. A half hour later my brother joined us.

Text Game:
Her: Dear Bradley Cooper, thanks for hanging out with us tonight, let me know when you want to get together again and discuss morning TV
Me: You making me breakfast?
Her: As long as we can watch Charles Osgood?? Anytime
Me: Just got home, was great meeting you, made my night
Her: Good morning, thank you, you made my night as well
Me: Hey how was your weekend
Her: It was good, I visited my nieces on Saturday, how was the rest of your weekend? How did the gig go on Saturday?
Me: Saturday was great, still tired, rest of my weekend was work, I need a break
Her: I need a break too, the *** are driving me nuts
Me: I suspect you already were
Her: Already taking a break?
Me: Had two miller lite so far so yeah then it's back to work
Her: You're back to work tonight? Do you just work constantly?
Her: I'm fascinated by your guitar playing, **** selling life :)
Me: I like that you are
Her: Are we going to hang out sometime?
Me: What you got in mind
Her: Well your life seems to be busier than mine, so you tell me your thoughts
Me: They're all dirty you sure
Her: Hahahaha yes I'm sure
Her: Going on a run while it's raining and muddy? That would get pretty dirty
Me: I'm free sat we should hang out then, bring your running shoes
Her: I might be in DC but I might be coming back Sat afternoon... how do you feel about margaritas?
Me: Depends on what they're wearing
Me: What's the over under on the 'might'
Her: It's about 70 percent coming back, 30 percent staying... I need to discuss with my girls
Her: I'm not good at 'over/under'... I'm better with percents
Me: Good thing you got in public education you'da made a lousy bookie
Me: When will you know your availability
Her: Probably within the next 2 days, do you have a wait list of girls wanting to hang out with you this weekend?
Me: You're at the top, that's out of fifty so you know it means something
Her: Haha okay well then I will definitely let you know about Saturday soon so if need be, you can contact #2 on the list
Me: You are so sweet
Her: The sweetest... so what are we going to do? Are you going to travel up here?
Me: Yeah I'll be up there
Her: Saturday is looking promising, we are at 80% coming back, 20% staying
Me: Hmmm
Her: Hmmm what?
Me: 80% such a tease
Her: Haha actually the debate right now between the friends is whether or not we're going to go for Friday or pick another weekend, so yes I'll be here Saturday
Her: So if you want to get together, I'm free Saturday night
Me: Yeah for real, I'm not 80% like some people I know
Her: Well now I'm 100% and give me a break, tomorrow's my birthday

I'll update after I see her this Saturday.

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