During the night of Sunday Funday with 'Tall' Wing, I ended up in a 2set with some 6's. One was a lesbian and she pointed out some really cute girls coming outside, specifically a 10* in a red dress. The lesbian stared at the cute girls kinda creepy and said, "Oooh, pretty girls."
* I don't use the term 10 often, so please understand that this chick in the red dress was hot. I don't even like to use the term hot. I prefer 'cute' or 'really cute'. To me, using the word 'hot' inflates her value and presupposes that I am not in her league. So I am not exaggerating when I say this was the 'cutest' girl I have ever talked to. Ever. Bangin' body and gorgeous face. The red dress accentuated all of that. Plus I got a serious weakness for blondes.
As soon as I saw 'Red Dress' everything else faded away and I felt an instantaneous urge to talk to her. The girls I was talking to became droll in comparison. As the cute girls went back inside I said to the lesbian, "It was good to meet you, I'm going to go talk to the girl in the red dress."
She said, "Have fun, let me know how it goes."
I walk inside, and see the cute girls standing around at the end of the bar. Funny how all the guys are staring at them and none have the balls to open. I walk right up to 'Red Dress' and say, "You look so interesting, I wanted to meet you." And I held out my hand.
Taken aback, she said, "Oh, Hi, my name is Lxxxx" She shook my hand and I didn't let go. She didn't let go either. It was really loud there, which gave me an excuse to get close to her and I had to speak into her ear for her to hear me. (rereading this, I realize I don't need an excuse, I should just do it) My right hand was now holding her left at our side, our torsos touching, and my left hand was on her waist.
She asked for my name. In her ear, I said, "My name is XXXX"
She then complimented me, "You are sooo confident."
I said, "Thanks."
She then said, "What do you do?"
Here's where I fucked up. Big time. I broke rapport. A big thing of 60's is that you DON'T break rapport. If you do it puts you on opposite teams. When going for fast escalation you must be on the same team. This is where everything I learned before is fucking me up and I have to unlearn the C&F. Don't get me wrong. I dig David DeAngelo's shit. And I will probably always use it in the right circumstances. But I'm playing a different game now and my instincts need to be re-calibrated.
I said, "You don't waste time, huh? Already want to know how much money I make."
She said, dissapointedly, "No, I was just making conversation."
I tried to salvage it, but the tension was lost. Her friends must have been watching and noticed her expression change because their timing was impeccable. Extremely adept at cock-blocking (as they have to be) two of her friends, one from each side, cut me off from her and asked me to take a picture of the lot of them.
This is a brilliant move. Since women loathe direct confrontation, it saves their friend while playing to the ego of the man. I knew what was going on and I had known that I was blown out by then, but at the same time, the ego stroke and attention, as well as the interruption, took me off guard. And this, coming from a guy that sees this shit all the time.
I took the picture, directing them to move for the best shot (everyone is always too far apart in pictures), and as I gave the camera back, 'Red Dress' retreated into the crowd.
If I were to do it again (and of course I will), I would be genuine.
I would say, "You want to know my day job or my passion?" And then follow up with, "What's your story?" And then have a real conversation while physically escalating to an 'It's on Moment'.
I saw her out front later and we talked for about 5 min, but there was no tension because I chickened out on physical escalation. I asked for a number, but got too much resistance. Then she and her friends walked home.
AFTER ACTION REVIEW:
Obviously I need a plan. I need to work it out in my head before I go in. I tend to try things before I fully form the ideas. That's good and bad. Some guys won't take action until they have every scrap of information and they never pull the trigger. I'm going out and opening, which is good, but I'm mostly winging it because I have no goals thought out. The takeaway from this story is that I opened, in a sexual, not social manner, the most beautiful girl I've ever talked to and I knew she'd like me immediately. I didn't procrastinate. I didn't chicken out. I made a B-line for her and opened smoothly. That is progress, motherfuckers.
Sure, it didn't go anywhere, but I'm steadily losing my fear of beautiful women. It's almost gone. Now when I see cute girls anywhere, all I think about is wanting to talk to them. Fuckin' weird. All through high school and college I couldn't talk to pretty girls and feel like I was on their level, but now... I'm the best, most interesting person they're likely to meet this year.
That may be delusion, but the more I think it, the more it becomes reality.
UPDATE:
I've used this approach a ton more times now and I think I got it locked down. I'll post details later.
Why do you want to change your old C&F approach for the 60's approach ? In what cases is better to use 60's instead C&F ? Did it matter that she was a HB10 ?
ReplyDeleteGreat blog by the way, I've enjoyed reading your stories.
Hey thanks for your comment. I'm always looking to learn new methods/techniques. If I learn something I have to try it. I don't know that I want to switch entirely to one method, but I'd like to have it in my toolbox. The problem I had was mixing the two. After using both methods for quite a while I can now say that they are mostly incompatible.
ReplyDeleteIn which cases? Depends on the venue a lot for me. If I'm somewhere loud I need to escalate fast without much chit-chat using 60. If I'm having to game a group then Mystery/C&F. If I'm at work, then no way can I use 60.
It did matter that she was a 10 because that's why I choked. I broke frame and her attraction vanished instantly. No matter what method you cannot show the slightest incongruence.